The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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