when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
