I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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