Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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