she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
