you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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