HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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