Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
