you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize