if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
