i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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