Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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