he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
