this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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