I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
