Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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