Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
