Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
