careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
