After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
