we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
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Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
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Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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