i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I wear drunk well.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
