worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
