oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
