I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
