he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
