I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
