I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
