i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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