And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
