That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize