Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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