Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
