those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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