I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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