i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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