so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
