he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She needs sedatives and a leash
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
