I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
