At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
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You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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