He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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