ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
