i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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