walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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