Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
