Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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