but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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