somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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