2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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