stop calling my apartment porn island.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
