Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If I die, sorry about rent.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
