I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
