Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize