im holly from the hills drunk
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
