if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
