Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
