you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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