i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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