I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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