no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
