This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
