i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
